Welcome to my thought world! I hope you enjoy reading the ramblings in my head!
Oh stressss! *Running Man fans, think Kang Gary saying it!*
Worried I'll forget the lyrics, worried I'll go off pitch.. Bleargh.. And although I really like Fish Leung 梁静茹's voice and songs, her vocal bridge is different from mine (if that's how you phrase it!), so I tend to have slight difficulty singing her songs.
I also believe in this verse for a couple - Phil 2:3 "Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others."
I slowed down in front of the green house with the "For Sale" sign freshly planted in its front yard. During the last six weeks, my husband, David, and I had looked at dozens of houses to find a new home. None seemed suitable for our family of five. This particular house looked a bit small for our needs, but I grabbed a flyer to take home to David.
To this day David gives me credit for "finding" our home. We never would have purchased the house, however, without David's quick action. He was on the phone when I got home, so I simply handed him the flyer. He read it quickly, finished his conversation, and immediately called our real estate agent. Given our city's red-hot real-estate market, David wanted to make sure we were the first to bid on the house. Sure enough, it turned out to be just right for us—bigger and better than anything we'd seen so far.
Working together as a team, we bought our first home. But every day in that same house, David and I continue to develop our teamwork in all areas of our marriage. Through the years we've learned being a team extends past a project, platitude, or goal. Our teamwork is tailored to our unique relationship—and keeps changing as the years go by.
What Kind of Team Are You?
God calls a man and woman to live together in marriage as one flesh, so teamwork seems a natural by-product. But what does it mean to be a team?
For couples who share similar tastes, gifts, goals, and desires, teamwork can be as smooth as pair's figure skating. However, some couples find their partnership works more like a track-and-field team. They're on the same team, but their lives are individual events. Sometimes a couple's marriage resembles an auto race. The driver is the star of the show, but he or she never would win any races without the crew chief moving quickly at every pit stop.
Think about your interests and personalities. What kind of team best represents your relationship right now? Is it the best fit? What would you like your marriage team to look like?
Remember, your marriage doesn't need to imitate anyone else's. For instance, on a practical level, I assumed David and I would form the same kind of team my parents enjoyed. My mom and dad bonded over the household projects they tackled together every Saturday. Similarly, our friends Paul and Wendy collected river rock, arranged native plants around their hand-built waterfall, and together converted their backyard into a nature retreat.
In contrast, my husband tackles garden projects only when necessary. I've accepted that basic yard work will get done at our house—but it won't be a bonding experience. However, we still can be a team even if we aren't working on a project together.
Develop Your Teamwork Style
David and I came into marriage knowing we're fairly compatible. Besides our writing and teaching gifts, we both enjoy children and like to travel. But similarities alone don't produce partnerships.
What does? A strong commitment to each other's personal growth and a deep commitment to oneness before God. Here are some strategies we've used to help us function happily together.
1. Dream together. A recent national radio spot suggested couples take one hour on their anniversary each year to dream together. According to this marriage expert, even one hour increases marital longevity and happiness. Dreaming together deepens the spirit of partnership. Wherever the winds may blow you, you remember you're on the same ship.
Be willing to encourage and follow each other's dreams. Who knows where your spouse's next idea could take you! It's taken us to the Amazon and Andes on a seven-week missions trip, as well as to Africa and Austria to visit beloved friends. Most recently, dreaming together led us to adopt our six-year-old daughter, Anna.
Dreaming together means dreaming for each other, too. You and your husband may have individual goals—pursuing a certain hobby, learning a new skill, visiting a college friend far away. That's when you strengthen your track-and-field team style—helping each other train and cheering each other on.
Thought stimulator: What's one thing you could do to move toward a mutual goal? How could you encourage your husband's dreams? What do you need from him to pursue your dreams? Which items on your spouse's wish list are most threatening to you? Out of love for the other person, which may you need to lay aside?
2. Agree in advance on any sacrifices. While Paul and Wendy have a beautiful backyard, the past ten years haven't been a bed of roses for them! Together they decided Paul would go back to school to earn his doctorate in psychology. But to prevent resentment along the way, they each outlined what sacrifices they would and wouldn't make to realize Paul's goal.
Life's full of choices. Will you take that other job? Will you work nights? How many sports or clubs will your children be involved in? And will you use that tax refund for new furniture or a vacation? Choices impact both partners. Being a team means making those choices with your partner and with your mutual goals and desires in mind. Likewise, when you say "yes" to one thing, you say "no" to at least ten others. Being a team means choosing the sacrifices together, too.
Thought stimulator: What are you willing to sacrifice to reach mutual goals? What sacrifices are unacceptable? Are these sacrifices pleasing to God?
3. Divide and conquer. Just because you have similar gifts and callings doesn't mean teamwork flows naturally. When we first married, David said "yes" to teaching seminars or classes "together." That translated into him coming up with all the ideas and giving me an outline of what I should say. I balked because it felt artificial.
What's more, David didn't appreciate my "you should have said" critiques of his presentations. We've had to learn to work together on mutual goals while still maintaining autonomy. Now David and I can teach a class together, but that doesn't mean our teamwork on other fronts—home, parenting, finances—always runs smoothly. Even with frequent meetings to compare calendars, we can be at odds about what gets done around the house and how we'll spend our time.
Sure, many couples divide and conquer when it comes to the daily "to do" of home and family. Just remember, the how-to of making this work is fluid, not fixed. Work out your systems—and then communicate often, clearly, and kindly. Not every solution fits for every season or situation. And don't rule out asking for help.
Amanda holds most of the cooking and cleaning responsibilities in her and Brian's home, but Brian's usually happy to help when she asks. She says, "Sometimes I start grumbling about why he never does anything—but it's because I don't ask! I forget I have a cooperative teammate."
Thought stimulator: Which tasks or goals do you prefer to work on by yourself? Which ones would you like to pursue together? How could you divide that responsibility to give each person "authority" in specific areas, while still accomplishing a mutual goal, whether physical, spiritual, or otherwise?
4. Nurture your team spirit. So what happens when "divide" means you feel stuck with all the work? What about when "conquer" doesn't happen because you're overwhelmed by other life stresses? That's when the "spirit" of being a team transcends the "work" in teamwork.
Sometimes, all I need is a reminder we're teammates, not opponents. Ultimately, we both want the same thing: to love God, to love each other, to love our children, to grow as people, to live in peace. Other times, when I feel my "team spirit" waning, I commit to praying earnestly for David. Asking God to help my husband realigns my heart with his—and blesses us both.
Thought stimulator: What circumstances challenge your team spirit the most? What concrete action can you take to nurture your commitment and cooperation? In prayer, ask God to give you a spirit of oneness in your marriage.
The green house has been ours now for ten years. With a home business and our active chidren, it's time for us to start looking for a new place to live. We already agree on what we want in a house, but our teamwork was challenged when I frequently brought up the need for a move and David fervently resisted it. He felt pushed, and I felt my needs were ignored. Thankfully, coming back to each other in humility restored our team spirit.
Occasional squabbles aside, my husband, David, and I build our marriage partnership as we heed God's calling: to look to the interests of others, to consider another as better than ourself, and to lay down our life for our very best, lifelong friend—our mate.
Trying out the new blogger app (which I'm typing with right now on my iphone5) and also to share my 3rd happy call dish - bacon and scrambled eggs!
The app I used to make the collage is called instacollage, quite a good app I must say! Many different kind of split frames apart from the usual vertical and horizontal ones, plus a wide selection of borders and icons you can add on too. Thinking if I wanna upgrade to the pro.. Hmm..
Pros of blogger app:
- Convenient to blog on the go using smart phone
Cons of the blogger app:
- Can't insert photos in between paragraphs, all of them only appear at the end
- Unable to add caption for photos
Alright, just a short post here and yay to perhaps renewing my motivation to blog more often!
Bacon and Scrambled Eggs, cooked using happy call pan!
InstaCollage (free app)
Did "By Your Side" by Hillsong, cause this was what I learnt at Believer Music this week. Am into my 15th guitar lesson with them (the 1st lesson of Advance Dynamics Worship I module), and thankfully I picked up guitar before, around 8 or 9 years ago, but stopped after about half a year, so I'm able to catch on quite easily now. This shall be like my progress chart on my guitar skills!
So here it is! In my fave key as it's the only 1 of 2 keys I know how to play currently!
"By Your Side" by Hillsong / Key of G
And then I did another video, cause I really really love this song, "Closer" by Bethel Church. Heard Steffany Frizzell Gretzinger leading the song during the church's worship (on youtube) and I was just brought into God's holy presence.
My version doesn't do the song justice for sure, but well, I've learnt that God doesn't use the smartest, most skillful person to do His work, instead He uses the foolish and the weak to bring Him glory, because "His strength is made perfect in our weakness". He doesn't appear only when the most beautiful voice sings the most melodious song, when the most formidable musician plays the most intricate riffs. Instead He appears when someone seeks Him, cries for Him, comes before Him just as they are, vulnerable and broken.
In any case, I just hope and pray that both the songs will bless all of you!
"Closer" by Bethel Church / Key of G (capo 4)
|Envelope with the scripts. Blurred out the show's title as it's not been released yet.|
The whole series has 6 different stories being depicted, and the first story will span over 4 episodes. Even though my character is an aunty with an 8 yr old son, which I'm like "oh no, I can't look young and pretty!" , there's quite a few 内心戏 (emotional scenes), which I definitely want to be able to do it well and touch the audiences.
This first story will start the ball rolling for the blockbuster, although my character is of course not the protagonist nor any major supporting role in the series, but she is not just a 'calefare' too and is instrumental in this first story. So I sure hope to be able to contribute to the success!
I was told that they have been looking to fill this role for some time but found no suitable actress. Then one of the casting director recommended me, and showed the executive producer the footage of my performance in 'In Cold Blood' (which was filmed by an external production company - Filmat), and thank God she liked it! Thus I was cast.
I only watched my episode in 'In Cold Blood' briefly as I still haven't gotten used to seeing myself on screen and always cringe when I do. Looks like I have to start examining my performance inside to see what was good and what can be improved on.
Filming starts soon! Pray for smooth schedules, filming on set, harmonious relationships amongst everyone and most importantly, that I will portray my character excellently to the director's expectations and more!
Double for Xuan Xuan (who is one of my all time favourite
|Assembly School Show.|
Supposed to be a grandmother, and according to my friends
on facebook, a chio granny!
Ahh, found one which shows my entire crowning glory. Not the longest I had, but somewhat there. I'm missing my natural curls already..
|Hah, what a sharp "kali-pok"!|
|Love the hair! Or rather, the curly and lustrous wig |
Anyway, I bought a group deal voucher for a cut and treatment at a salon in Nex. V-haytique or something like that, and it was quite bad. My already dry and damaged hair became more rough and frizzy! Did I spend money to make my hair worse?
|Immediately after the cut and rebonding @ Ashley's Salon.|
Tel 68353769. Soho @ central #05-12
I got to know that I also had the honor, at one of my buddy's wedding, to receive the "hottest sister" award by one of the groom's brother. I definitely thank my new hairstyle for that! Mind you, there were 11 very beautiful sisters in total, and well, also that's the opinion of just 1 of 11 brothers too lah. :)
By the way, I must say the hair looks great even when I forget to comb =P
And here's wishing everyone a Happy Lunar New Year!! Hope the angpows you collect will be more than the angpows you give out (praying hard for myself!)!